Today I had an perinatalogist appointment for a glucose download and an NST (non-stress test). I never know how long they are going to last for a number of reasons. My doctor sees people from not just San Antonio, but I know as far as drives 3 or 4 hours away and in a lot of cases my appointment gets pushed back. Also, Darth Baby isn't as reliably a mover for the NST as the nerdlet and the bear cub (the nerdlet always moved non-stop and the NSTs were always quick and the bear cub never moved much so I was always there forever). As I was leaving the car, I realized I had neglected to bring a book and I almost started crying thinking about having a long boring appointment with nothing to occupy myself with so I borrowed one from Q's car called Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs.
My appointment lasted a little less than an hour so I only had to plow through 83 pages of this garbage. The idea behind the book is pretty much in the title. I don't have a problem with the overall premise, but the actual writing and examples he gives just really pissed me off. He seemed to miss the fact that men and women should treat their wives and husbands with both love and respect. He also seems to think that respect for your husband means treating his precious, delicate ego with white kid gloves and that love for your wife means putting her on a pedestal and treat her like a princess. For Q and I, this would pretty much end our good relationship very quickly. He also seems think that acting like you love your wife and acting like you respect your husband regardless of whether or not you actually do is the most important thing and will fix all the ills, including your husband's philandering, which is obviously the woman's fault for not catering to his ego and pride. It also irritates me to no end that he really harps on the fact the bible verses say that wives should respect their husbands and men should love their wives (I don't disagree with the verses, but I do disagree with how he interprets it and then tries to use it to justify a woman never getting upset with her husband or letting him know of any faults he has). I think he is giving Christians and the Bible a bad name. I can only imagine one type of marriage that would really benefit from his advice and my imagination doesn't really lead to a very flattering image of the husband in that particular marriage.
So I when I got home I asked my husband about the book. He had been lent the book from a coworker and said he tried to read it but had gotten pretty irritated himself and stopped reading it on page 18. He says his major thing against the book is that he is afraid that people having issues with their marriage will take his advice and screw their marriage up even further.
So today I am thankful for my husband and actually helpful and good self help books. I am thankful to be in a relationship that thrives on both genuine love and respect and not the type of sexist relationship that is described as ideal in the passage of books like this. I am grateful for my husband's big, non-delicate ego. I am thankful for books like The Five Love Languages that are well written, have something insightful to say, and don't portray Christians and Christianity in such a bad light.